Friday, February 26, 2016

Biashara Coach 8 tips towards successfully giving constructive criticism

By Virginia Mburu





Mwakazi, the Passionate Entrepreneur and Owner of Makao Interior Designers was unhappy about some criticism he had received from one of his employees.


His mentor had advised him to review 2 Samuel 11 & 12 where he got 8 tips that greatly assisted him openup to correction. 

He   also realized that he needed to improve how he offered criticism to those who need feedback whether via request or those he wants to activate an improvement. In the process of the review, Mwakazi also came up with another 8 tips on how to successfully give feedback;


2 Samuel 11

26 When Uriah’s wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. 27 After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.


2 Samuel 12

12 The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.

“Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”


David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”


Tip 1.....What is your goal?

Are you providing feedback so as  to seek an improvement or change in a skill, design, process, action or behavior etc.,  or are you seeking to boost  your ego and lower the other person’s self-esteem?  David had committed adultery and murder – and he knew that this was against the commands of God. Furthermore, he was neither remorseful nor repentant! God had to bring him to acknowledgement and repentance!


Could you be making  assumptions? That you are the only one who knows what needs to be done or that there is only a certain way of approach or measurement of success etc.?  Carefully sift through your assumptions.


Tip 2....What are the goals and the situation of the other person?

Unless you understand the person’s situation and goals, you will not know what the person can act on or not. What have they done so far and what have they not done? 

Focus on what you can improve on- what is not done yet. If they have failed a test, concentrate on what they can do to perform better in future not what they should have done to pass!  You may even be shocked that the failed test was not in line with their goals! 

We see Prophet Nathan coming in to correct King David long after the baby is born. Could the situation have demanded that the time immediately after the wrongdoing was not right? Could it be that the war was not over yet?


Tip 3....Can someone else do a better job?

You may have to respect to the line of command and have a direct supervisor deal with the feedback/correction. At other times, you may delegate should you realise that you are not able to resolve the negative energy such as anger or resentment toward the person being corrected.  God preferred to send  Prophet Nathan.


Tip 4.....What if you have to be the one to do it

Realign your emotions and attitude towards the person being corrected. Which words will you use and how do you expect the other person to receive it. You have to control your voice tone, the facial expressions and the body language – These non-verbal clues convey more than or even a different message from your words.

Watch your words such that you come through as suggesting not criticising.... “It would seem that…,” or “I may be wrong, but…” Could you be holding personal preferences in this issue? You may have to lay aside your personal preferences and offer objective feedback. Whereas you may not like a certain car model, be objective about its good and bad features!


Tip 5.....When and where is critical to success

You improve your likelihood of success when you choose a private location when offering your feedback...never in public! Be sensitive to the emotional and physical state of the other person-  It is not the right time to introduce  critique to a  person who is  sick, tired, stressed, hungry etc., Nor will you perform well if you are in similar conditions!

Prophet Nathan approached King David when he was alone and in the right mood to listen to a good story!


Tip 6....Serve them a PCP sandwich

Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 


Start with a positive (P). Even the most difficult persons have a positive attribute. The compliment should be  sincere otherwise it will ring hollow and not achieve the desired result- building a  rapport as well as appreciating their strengths and thus boosting their esteem.  They will then be more open to the correction. 

While at it, ensure you make eye contact. You will then be able to read their response quickly and adjust accordingly. Also, give them total attention...no distractions such as working on your computer which shows disinterest.


Provide the criticism(C)

  9Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 


This is where you have to be tactful... Focus on the   specific action/behavior not the person followed by the impact of the shortcoming. Example- I have noted you reported to work late  on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday  which  meant that....rather than the personal attack-  ‘You are......  always late’ or  The Sales report is not correct and cannot be presented to the board in the present state  rather than ‘Your sales report is not correct’.  

Note that Prophet Nathan did not say- ‘You are an adulterer,  a murderer’ but focused on the wrongdoing-‘you despised...., you struck down.... you took......’  


10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.’11 “This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. 

12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’” 13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”

Now you can delve into the specifics on the errors noted. You are likely to get an admission if you  have used the right approach. Ask them for recommendations on how the shortcoming can be improved and why they think will work or will not work.

You may also chip in your suggestions. You want them to own the process therefore let them compile and present you (or the team) a report on  the recommendations, rationale, expected results, by when, progress review etc. Prophet Nathan appraised King David  of his error- despising God and the king concurred.

End with a Positive (P)

.....Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.”


Appreciate their strengths once again and  summarise the  positive results that will come from the recommended  new action or behavior. King David did get a positive feedback- he was forgiven of his sin but he still had to bear with the consequence of his actions.

He had already pronounced a judgement on the rich man who had slaughtered a poor man’s lamb! nevermind that that he was pronouncing his own judgement! The man happened to represent his own self!


Tip 7..... What about injecting some gentle humor- where possible.

For someone you are used to, you can directly critique them in a light-hearted manner. A relevant joke or story will hit home pretty well like what happened to King David after listening to Prophet Nathan’s story. 

Have specific example of a behavior that is close to what you want to correct.... could be a real case that had happened leaving out the facts that would get the person to identify themselves and thus get defensive. 

Prophet Nathan presented King David with a compelling story whose plot was very close to what the king had done only different actors and a different scenario. The king did not immediately identify himself but went on to pronounce judgement on the rich man.


Tip 8.....Teamwork does it.

Work with the person being corrected to improve the situation.  Provide the necessary support and environment for them to succeed.  After all, your goal is for them to improve/change and when they succeed, you also do. Appreciate and celebrate the milestone achieved in the improvement journey. 

Despite the punishment King David had  to bear as a result of his shortcoming,  God gave  him another son who went on to become the next King!


Over to you Passionate Entrepreneur

  • How do you offer constructive criticism?
  • What other tips can you share with the Passionate Entrepreneur Network?

Share with your experiences, suggestions or questions in the comments section below and help another Passionate Entrepreneur.


Whatever you do, make sure it results in less work, more money and positive impact.


Update





Virginia Mburu

Passionate Entrepreneurs Coach

Virginia empowers and motivates Passionate Entrepreneurs to realize their purpose and pursue it. She then assists the entrepreneurs to clarify, prioritise and focus on management and marketing strategies and action plans that will get them to work less, make more money and positively impact within one year.  Download some of her gifts- absolutely free lessons on www.passionateentrepreneursacademy.com

Biashara Coach: 8 tips to help you open up to Constructive Criticism

By Virginia Mburu


Someone is displeased..... by your action or inaction.....


And so is another person who is displeased with Mwakazi the Passionate Entrepreneur and owner of Makao Interior Designers.

Mwakazi is also displeased by the approach the person used to express the dissatisfaction.  Whereas Mwakazi had erred, this person was rude and truly lacked tact! Moreover the person criticizing him happened to be his junior! 


In one of the meetings with his mentor, he brought up the criticism issue. He gathered that as much as we do not like criticism, we get to identify our weakness and areas of improvement. 

We need people who are honest with us to assist us identify these weaknesses. There are times we are not aware that we have erred. At other times we know we are wrong but we are so blinded by our egos that we cannot accept the correction! 

Most of those who correct us care and desire the best for us otherwise they would  keep quiet as they watch us  crumble. 

Never mind the few who want to attack our self-esteem! You can always know them for they  will attack your person not the behavior, action or inaction!


Either way Mwakazi realizes that he needs some tips on how to respond to correction.  He is not handling this area as he would wish! 

The mentor advised him to review the story of King David, Uriah the diligent soldier, Bathsheba his wife and Nathan the prophet. This story is found in 2 Samuel 11 and 12. 

After a brainstorming session, Mwakazi comes up with 8 tips he now shares with us;


Tip 1.....Change your attitude towards correction.

We need people who care enough to be honest. If you live with people who do not offer constructive criticism, you are missing out on a major learning process. 

But then, what is our reaction when confronted?  Is it to protect our bloated ego? Is it to take offense, feel rejected, kick off a pity-party? Do you get defensive and shoot the messenger?  Do you declare the  person criticizing you an enemy, attack them  and remind them of their many shortcomings?

Do you dismiss them as having been sent by “enemies of development"? Do you stop talking to them, malign them or even declare them “persona non grata’ in your circles? Do you cut them off from your relationships? Do you swear that you cannot attend common meetings or events?


Make a commitment to respond, not react!  Especially if you........



Tip 2.....Understand the benefits of correction

Whenever someone expresses his/her displeasure over a certain issue, know that you have just been handed a golden opportunity to improve your skills, performance, product, service, relationships etc. 

You are just about to learn what your significant others (customers, employees, suppliers, colleagues, mentors, spouses, friends, neighbours, etc.) believe you need to improve. You are just about to progress to the next level of your success journey! Grab this opportunity and..........


Tip 3.....Be available for correction

By anyone, a co-worker, a peer, a senior, a junior, a mentor, a coach, a spouse, a friend a child anyone- even those who have similar weaknesses! 

In 2 Samuel 11, King David had committed adultery with one Bathsheba who he saw bathing when he missed going out to lead his army in a battle.  Everything that can go wrong did and Bathsheba (did you note the name has a bath in it) conceives and our clever king devises a plan to trap Uriah the faithful soldier into believing he is the father. 

However being the ever loyal soldier, he   does not break the Army’s code of conduct as did King David.  Now the one trapped is the king and he came up with a shrewd plan that is certain to work- order the army commander to place Uriah where the battle is hottest and certainly he is killed!  

King David was now free to take Bathsheba as his wife and live happily ever after or so he thought! However 2 Samuel 12: 26 continuing to chapter 12 verse 1 records that “....But the thing David had done displeased the Lord. The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said....”

Please not that King David did.......


Tip 4.....Listen to understand the issue

Yes- listen carefully even if the person is directing the attack to your person and not the alleged deed or misdeed. You will probably pick something from they ramble!  Master your body and facial language so that you do not discourage the other person from expressing their displeasure. You do not have to talk to convey your reaction. 

Listen to understand. You can paraphrase what you heard the person say so that it is clear to both of you. Remember, they are also nervous (they also do not enjoy having to critique you unless they have a narcissistic personality disorder) and may not be able to express himself or herself clearly.

Once you have understood the issues at hand, thank the person for raising them even though you may not be in agreement.  Appreciate they cared enough to raise the issue!

Between verse 7-12, King David listened to what Prophet Nathan had to say about his transgression and the horrific consequences thereof. Not once did he interrupt!

Whereas King David  knew  exactly what his error was and did not need  further probing, you can.....


Tip 5.....Probe to get to the root of the matter

Ask questions to clarify the issues raised. Get specific examples to illustrate the offense. You can also present your perspective but let it not be a tug of war. Establish whether this is a one off incidence or a trend. 


King David knew the gravity of the matter at hand and thus he moved to......



 Tip 6.....Quickly and sincerely admit the error

Verse 13-14 “Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die.  But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.”



When we come face to face with our weaknesses or areas of improvement, a quick admission serves us better than denial. It means we can start correcting it faster and continue with our success journey...even though the consequences hurt to the core. 

Who knows – when you quickly and  sincerely admit your error, you may even get some reprieve like King David.  The law was very clear as how to deal with a murderer- He was to be killed! He may have missed that punishment on himself but an innocent soul suffered and died- the son born from the adulterous union!


Be open to counsel. Be a willing learner-   Let the person tell you how they think you can correct the situation. What do they think are possible solutions? Wow... what a lesson... Now you can close conversation by sincerely thanking them for the feedback.

Pat yourself on the back too. You have held your cool. You can  now.....



Tip 7.....Formulate an action plan to correct issue raised and deal with the subsequent  consequences arising from the error/weakness

You now design an action plan on what you will do to correct the weakness. You may also need a reporting plan depending on the issue at hand and the personalities involved- a customer, a  senior, a partner, a shareholder etc.   


The consequences of the deed or misdeed   may be immediate or long term. King David  faced an immediate consequence- the death of the son born of the adulterous union. 

As if that is not enough, a future calamity awaited him as recorded  in   verse  11-12-  “This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’”


No wonder we see King David pleading his case as recorded in Psalms 51 verse 1-3--Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me”.



Tip 8.....What about taking charge?

Rather than waiting for someone to correct us, what if we are the ones who went to them and asked for that feedback?  By doing so, we are in a position to protect our fragile egos as we are the ones  who asked not told! What can we do to improve our products, services, performance, reports, contributions, behaviours, etc. 



Over to you Passionate Entrepreneur;

  • How do you respond to criticism and correction?
  • What other tips can you share with the Passionate Entrepreneur Network?
Share with your experiences, suggestions or questions in the comments section below and help another Passionate Entrepreneur.


Whatever you do, make sure it results in less work, more money and positive impact.


Update





Virginia Mburu

Passionate Entrepreneurs Coach

Virginia empowers and motivates Passionate Entrepreneurs to realize their purpose and pursue it. She then assists the entrepreneurs to clarify, prioritise and focus on management and marketing strategies and action plans that will get them to work less, make more money and positively impact within one year. Access some of her gifts- absolutely free lessons on www.biasharacoach.blogspot.co.ke

Biashara Coach: 8 keys to opening Customer Acquisition doors

By Virginia Mburu


A huge following.....

Of raving fans....That is what every passionate entrepreneur yearns and prays for. The very same thing Mwakazi, the Passionate Entrepreneur and owner; Makao Interior Designers is praying for- earnestly. But the prayers do not seem to be working.....

In his locality, a few businesses have been growing huge numbers of raving fans and Funguo Property Developers came into mind.  The owner happened to be one of his college mates- Kizito Stua. Mwakazi sets up a meeting with Mr. Kizito the following week believing that he could find some practical tips that could set him gaining a huge following......

In the meantime, he attends   the Interior Designers Association monthly meeting and is pleasantly surprised that one of the topics in discussion was spot on- The keys to a maximizing following. This speaker based his teaching on a case study from Matthew 4 and he touched on 8 keys as under;

 Key 1.....The wilderness is your friend
Matthew chapter 4 verse 1.....”Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.”

You already know what solution your prospects want. Now it is time settle in and test the concepts – Is it the right solution for your market, what doubts exists about its efficacy and how do you counter them? How do you ensure that your solution develops a long term relationship with the customer?   While going through this process, don’t be surprised if it feels like taking a walk in the wilderness!

Key 2....Launch Timing is key
Verse 12....”When Jesus heard that John had been put in prison, he returned to Galilee”.

Before you launch your product/service, scan the environment to determine the best time to release your solution.  Have you ever noted how quickly street vendors suddenly appear on the streets selling umbrellas when it rains or with ice cream/cold water when it’s hot?  When John was put in prison, it was time for Jesus to launch in Galilee......

Key 3.....Start in Nazareth
Verse 13.... Leaving Nazareth,....”

Now that you have a ready solution for your prospects, start promoting your solution to your family, friends, neighborhood etc. Jesus first went preaching in his hometown, Nazareth before spreading his wings to other areas.

Key 4..... Identify your Capernaum
Verse 13 continued....”....he went and lived in Capernaum, which was by the lake in the area of Zebulun and Naphtali—“

Your hometown may not be profitable enough or you may simply want to expand reach.  Now it is time to identify a home for your business-an easy to reach, high customer and revenue potential market location.  Jesus moved from Nazareth to set base in Capernaum which was a larger town conveniently located by the sea. 

Key 5....Define your message
Verse 17.... From that time on Jesus began to preach, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near."
 What message do you want to pass to your prospects? Is it clear? Dose it rhyme with the current needs of the respective prospects? 

What is your customer's need? The need for an umbrella to a lady who has just emerged from a salon is distinctly different from the one carrying an infant!  The message Jesus preached was very clear "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near."

Key 6....Set your system
Verse 18-22..... “As he was walking by the Sea of Galilee he saw two brothers, Simon (called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea (for they were fishermen). 19 He said to them, “Follow me, and I will turn you into fishers of people.” 20 They left their nets immediately and followed him. 21 Going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in a boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets. Then he called them. 22 They immediately left the boat and their father and followed him.”

As your market expands, so will your need to have an efficient and effective support system. You will need to acquire the right skills, develop the right processes and requisition the relevant technology. When hiring, what professional and academic skills are key? Most importantly what personal traits do you desire given the nature of your business?  

Like Jesus, would you need some passionate, hardworking career fishermen who would endure being wet and cold while watching, waiting, toiling in stormy waters to catch slippery fish? They would be working in similar conditions while fishing humans! He also  knew that he would later have to preach his message across the Sea of Galilee sooner than later and these fishermen were experienced boat handlers.

key 7....Prove that your solution works
 Verse 23..... “Jesus went throughout all of Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of disease and sickness among the people.”
 
How can you demonstrate the efficacy of your solution to the relevant prospects? How do they get to Know- Like-Trust you?  Jesus went teaching, preaching and healing throughout all Galilee.   

Take a good look at the solution you are offering. What can you teach your prospects that relates to your solution? What relevant cause can you adopt and then passionately preach about it? What problems can you alleviate (heal)?

Key 8....Go viral
Verse 24..... “So a report about him spread throughout Syria. People brought to him all who suffered with various illnesses and afflictions, epileptics, paralytics, and those possessed by demons, and he healed them. 25 And large crowds followed him from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea, and beyond the Jordan River.”

Develop a huge word of mouth (WOM) offline and online system to spread the word throughout your defined market area.  And the testimonials were truly effective! We are told that “a report about him spread throughout Syria”.  

Jesus had started his ministry in the nondescript town of Nazareth but now his fame had spread to the whole region. Whereas Jesus first went out teaching, preaching and healing, now it is the people who were seeking him out! He was now a celebrity with a huge following to boot!  

Over to you Passionate Entrepreneur
  • What are you doing to get the customers following you?
  • Which other tips do you think Mwakazi  added on to the above list after meeting Mr. Kizito the following week?
Share your experiences, suggestions or questions in the comments section below. Who knows- You could probably be the next ‘celeb’ in this forum!

Whatever you do, make sure it results in less work, more money and positive impact.
Update


Passionate Entrepreneurs Coach
Virginia empowers and motivates Passionate Entrepreneurs to realize their purpose and pursue it. She then assists the entrepreneurs to clarify, prioritise and focus on management and marketing strategies and action plans that will get them to work less, make more money and positively impact within one year.  Access some of her gifts- absolutely free lessons here